When Not To Ask For a Commitment
by Mimi Tanner, author of The Reverse Ultimatum
Timing is everything. When is the worst possible time to ask for a commitment?
To answer this, here's an excerpt from "The Reverse Ultimatum":
For some reason, the subject of commitment comes up at the worst possible time - when things are not going well. This can only make matters worse.
One person sees the warning signs and starts feeling insecure. Instead of improving the relationship, they seek reassurance from their partner. They want proof of the other person's love. They seek validation of the relationship, by asking their partner to take things to the next level.
Does your relationship feel stale, boring, or suffocating to either of you? If so, then it's not the time to bring up a lifetime commitment. You have other problems to fix first.
Look at it from his point of view. You're sitting around on a weekend. You're doing nothing but "hanging out." You're not having a lot of conversation or laughs. Then you start putting the relationship pressure on him. He was probably already thinking about leaving, and some badly timed nagging can only hasten his exit.
It's not that it's only your responsibility to keep things from becoming boring, but if you and he are in a rut, then you need to light your fire again somehow.
You can't wait till things are headed downhill before you "pop the question." However you're not going to pop the question.
You're going to either tell him what you want, or show him what he REALLY wants. It's not about the question. It's about the answer.
In The Reverse Ultimatum, you will show him what he really wants! It is a secret formula to "Get a Commitment Without Conflict."
That's what the Reverse Ultimatum is all about.
What People Are Saying
"Mimi writes an easy-to-read guide, which provides immediate results and can help avoid confusion and heartache. Traditional views and concepts are flawed and do not represent the truer essence of human nature. It's not trickery, but merely a guide for balancing a relationship with love and respect while providing opportunity to see if the glass slipper fits."
"Well, I put her information to work, and let me just say he did everything just as Mimi said it would happen... Including the four words every in love girl wants to hear.
"Her words are right on the money, and if you put them into play the way she instructs, it will help you also!"
"Pressure only creates resistance, so following the plan laid out in this book allows a relationship to decompress without imploding.
"We've all tried the 'other option' with usually poor results-Mimi's approach helps to restore a balance and dignity to a relationship from which possible healing and progress can be made. In the worst case scenario, you have begun to restore a life to return to if the relationship is truly over.
"The Reverse Ultimatum is a worthy read."
It gives you a different angle to view things from so you feel more empowered."
"Your Reverse Ultimatum is frighteningly on target. How did you get so good at understanding the
male mind? Your techniques would keep a guy up at night with visions of his lady waltzing off with a better man.
But, oh boy, are they effective if the man truly loves her and is waffling." - Robert
- M.D.